The Day The Earth Stood Still: Review

Deep down inside.. my heart is shattering into a million pieces. Keanu Reeves, I am going to murder you.

The Day The Earth Stood Still is about an alien named Klaatu who comes down to Earth with his bodyguard GORT to begin initiating the extermination of the human race in order to save the planet. Then we have Jennifer Connelly's  character who comes in and tries to persuade him to change his mind.

Now as some of you already know, The Day The Earth Stood Still is a remake of a 1951 sci-fi movie of the same name which is considered a classic. And let me say this, if you are going to so bold as to remake a classic film.. make it better! Don't think that just by slapping on some cool special effects and visuals you are going to come out with a great film. Don't think you can live up to the original cause that is just dumb.

And that's what this movie is. Dumb. This film took a really great story and turns it into a completely boring piece of shit. And that wouldn't bother me so much if I didn't love the original Day The Earth Stood Still as much as I do. I was honestly offended watching this.

 

We have Keanu Reeves playing Klaatu and he was total crapfest in this. he shows zero emotion and practically has the same facial expression throughout the entire film. I think that's why the filmmakers hired him cause that botox face almost looks alien hahaha. And I like Keanu Reeves, the guy has done some really cool things like Neo and Prince Siddhartha. But man was he just a complete bore here.

And of all people to put into a remake of a film that redefined modern sci-fi films, we have the son of Will Smith in this being an annoying brat. What was the purpose of his character being in the movie only to cause more pain for Jennifer Connellys character. And man does she have some pain. Half of her scenes either shows her crying, screaming or just looking like she's being stabbed in the vagina with a needle or something.

The only cool thing I loved in this film was GORT, which I thought was really well done in the movie. This is the kind of GORT Robert Wise has always envisioned but could never do. A towering menacing being that destroys anything that comes close to it. I liked this GORT better than the original.

If you wanna watch a good sci-fi movie, go see Aliens or borrow the original Day The Earth Stood Still from me. Avoid this shit like SARS.

RATING: 2/10

Madagascar Escape 2 Africa: Review

Now I wasn't a big fan of the first Madagascar when it came out. It was really random and the fact that it did so much business didn't improve my mood one bit. But this on the other hand, I kinda like it.

So Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa continues with Alex, Marty, Melman and Gloria who are still stuck in Madagascar and are trying to get back to New York, the fixed the plane and fly off but they accidentally crash landed in Africa. There Alex meets his parents and a whole Lion King story ensues and the others sort of have their own little side plots in the movie.

And those Penguins.. wow. I love those penguins to death. If they're going to have a spin off movie or series about them, I am all for it. They were the best things in Madagascar and they're still funny as hell here even though they're not really shown much in the second one.

And Will.i.Am is in the movie playing this sort of macho dude that has lung cancer or something cause he had the raspiest voice I've ever heard. I don't get why on earth they kept King Julien in this one cause he's practically going in and out of scenes for a brief second or two and just going, "I am gay!" I really hate that guy. he's friggin annoying and he just won't die!

They have this little romantic relationship going on with Melman and Gloria which I really didn't care much for. The usual friendship test between Alex and Marty which was just mediocre and that whole Lion King plot with Alec Baldwin and Ben Stiller which was just okay. There's not much to like in terms of the story here. The only thing that makes this film really really entertaining is the comedy.

There's a whole lot of funnier stuff going on here than in the first one. I like the idea of all the zebras in Africa looking and sounding exactly like Chris Rock. I mean can you just imagine 1,000,000 Chris Rocks just yapping around you? You'd go crazy. I also like that crazy granny lady from the first movie who plays a bigger role in this and is hella funny here. One particular scene where they spoofed The Good, The Bad and The Ugly had me laughing my ass off.

This film is miles better than the first one and I'm kinda surprise it's not doing as well as Madagascar. Check this one out but don't pay too much for it. It won't add anything to your life.

RATING: 6/10 

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: Review

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is quite a lovely film. It's about a guy named Benjamin Button who is born under unusual circumstances because he ages in reverse. The movie tracks his life story as he goes through this strange aging process and tells a tale of war, death and love.

 

Now, ya'll are reading this summary and thinking, "Hey.. that's Forrest Gump without the aging thing." Well yeah it is. Matter of fact the same guy who wrote Forrest Gump wrote Benjamin Button to. Personally I preferred Forrest Gump but that doesn't make Benjamin Button any less of a fantastic movie.

The film is directed by David Fincher who is in my opinion one of the greatest new directors of our time. He is the man who did Se7en, Zodiac and Fight Club one of my favorite films of all time. I'm actually hoping he wins the Best Director award over Danny Boyle because it's bee a long time coming for him.

I don't get what is so great about Brad Pitt's performance here. Is it the accent or something? Cause that was the only thing he changed when he's playing Benjamin Button. Hey, Oscar people.. just because an actor is in a movie that's nearly 3 hours long doesn't warrant him a best actor nomination.

Now lets be fair, this is one of Brad Pitts stronger performances in a long time but he has done so much better like in Fight Club and 12 Monkeys. He was just okay to me in this one.

I felt the better performances of the film came from the smaller characters. Taraji P. Henson is fantastic as the mother figure of the film who practically flowing with unconditional love like Mother Theresa or something.

Tilda Swinton finally plays someone likable for once as Benjamin Buttons first love and she is an absolute goddess in the film. Jared Harris was great to as the sort of Lieutenant Dan of the movie. I found all these characters much more interesting to watch than Brad Pitt.

But I absolutely loved the make up in this movie man. They must have drowned brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett in heaps of make u because their characters go through man different ages i the movie and the make up looks so believable to the point i thought it was all CGI! The best one was when they made Brad Pitt look 19. Wow!! Imma sure girls would have swooned like they saw Edward Cullen without the pasty whiteness. Totally support this movie winning best make up.

The cinematography and art direction of 1940's New Orleans is absolutely stunning. I also really liked that train station clock thingy. You know.. the one where the needle is moving in the opposite direction? That clock is pretty hahahaha.

Benjamin Button is a fantastic film that is a more dramatic and magical version of Forrest Gump and has the sexy Brad Pitt in it who does do a decent job. But it might not be for everyone cause it's long. And when I say long, I mean 3 hours long.

RATNG: 8/10

Sex Drive: Review

This movie was so crude and so naked. I loved the hell out of it! Damn this movie's the shits!

 

  

Alright so this movie is about Ian who meets this really hot girl on the Internet and after flirting with each other for some months, she invites him over to her place in Nashville so they can have sex. So he steals his brother's awesome car and with is friends, they make a road trip across the country in hopes that he will finally lose his virginity. Hence the title,Sex Drive.

 

  

Sex Drive is at it's simplest a road trip movie. It goes through all the usual perks and plot twists that a road trip movie has. Somewhere along the movies, the cars gonna break down,or they're gonna get chased by rednecks, or they're gonna stop by a carnival or small town and totally bring the place down. And if it's a romance film, the main character is going to fall i love with the female character that goes along with him on the road trip but was originally reluctant and had to b dragged along.

 

  

Yeah, Sex Drive hits every predictable road-trip joke but what makes this movie cool is the amounts of sex and nudity this film as.

  

  

And this movie was hella funny to. It's one of the funniest sexploitation film I've seen since the first American Pie. The sex jokes in here are very cleverly done and don't seem all that forced.

 

  

The scenes with the Amish people are really cool and Seth Green makes a great comeback after years of doing shitty movies. He is one of the funniest characters n the movie, he's this wise-cracking, fast-talking Amish dude that guilt's his victims into submission and it's hella funny to watch.

 

And that girl in the film, Amanda Crew. Damn she's hot. But her character is really annoying in this movie. It's like she doesn't want the main character to have sex with anyone else but her but when he finally comes on to her, she totally cock blocks him. But more pain to him, more pleasure to me.

The biggest surprise of the movie for me is when I found out that the guy who i thought was Sean William Scott was actually James Marsden. Holy shit! Seriously, I thought he was Sean William Scott throughout the movie.He was so retardedly funny that I could not comprehend that was really the same man who did Corny Collins and Cyclops. James Marsden is my favorite in this besides Seth Green.

 

  

I saw this movie in the unrated and uncut version.And usually in the uncut version we get pretty much the same shit with some extra vulgar words But in Sex Drive, they really pushed the nudity and sex to the limit. And I love it!

For absolutely no reason, we get these hot naked ladies just walking in and out of the shot and they are hella hella hot. They even go as far as shoving the camera into a chicks bare boobs and I was going "Thank you God!!" Finally, some directors who know what their viewers want. And they did all this in a funny way as well.

 

  

I respect the filmmakers for making a good funny sex movie that doesn't try to be anything more than what it is unlike other turds like Not Another Teen Movie. But if you do watch this, lock the door, unzip your pants and let the crazy ensue!

RATING: 6/10