The Dark Knight: Review

Every now and then, there will come films that redefine cinematic experience. The reason movies are what they are now compared to movies in the past are because of these films. The Dark Knight is possibly the first since a long time. Sorry if I sound so serious cause it's just...OMG I seriously can't believe this film!

Storytelling brilliance doesn't get any better than this. First let me talk about the film quality. 6 scenes were shot in IMAX. If you don't know what that is, IMAX is the highest resolution of video any movie can achieve at this present time. So just imagine that much adrenaline rush jumping out in giant images from the screen.

Second is the story. The movie does run a bit long (2 hrs 30mins) and in that time, every possible lead character (even the small leads) gets broken down and stripped to bare wood in the movie. That's the difference between Dark Knight and Spider-Man 3. Spiddey had just as much characters as The Dark Knight. But they looked like they were there just for the sake of being there.

In The Dark Knight, every character's sub-story was utilized to create the master story and it all flowed so smoothly towards the end when all the character's stories combine into one heartbreaking finale. Seriously, how does Christopher Nolan even think up something so genius. But of course we have to remember that this is the guy who directed Momento, Insomnia, and The Prestige. This guy is just incapable of making a bad movie (you hear that Freidberg and Seltzer? Learn from this guy)

The Joker. I think we all have already heard how great Heath was in the movie and let me just say I really really want him to get an Oscar. Not because he's dead but because it's deserving. At times you just forget that that was Heath Ledger even after all that buzz and hype that surrounded him and The Joker. You don't even remember how he looks like anymore when you watch The Joker. He simply disappeared in the role. Heath almost makes Jack Nicholson's Joker look pathetic. He plays The Joker so devilishly and twisted. This guy isn't that flamboyant clown we see in the cartoon Batmans. This guy is sick.

He doesn't exactly kill people. He simply puts them in psychological situations where they have to kill each other to survive......and just sits back and enjoy himself. Testing people's morality and sanity. Most of the time in the movie, you really worry for the safety of the main characters. That's how crazy Heath Ledger's performance was.

Sometime for people like me, we see good performances and say" Hmm thats good acting" and start analyzing their overall character and shit. I know..I have no life. But when I watched Dark Knight..GAWD I didn't even have time to do all that because Heath Ledger just hooks you in and puts you through psychological hell. At times you'll say "Oh My God Heath Ledger I love you but please....Batman just kill him, I can't take it anymore."

Harvey Dent is second best performance in the movie. You really like this guy. And it's hard to like him because we all know he's gonna become Two Face and he's the guy f*cking Batman's girlfriend. Harvey Dent is suppose to be a bitch. But Aaron Eckhart plays him so innocently and so upright that you just can't help but love this character. At one point, I didn't want Harvey to become Two Face, which makes it even more heartbreaking when he does. It hits you on a more emotional level because you become attached to him. It's like witnessing a loved one's death on screen. Seriously Chris Nolan puts you through psycho hell in the movie.

Christian Bale was okay. You don't really care much about him. You just wanna see more of The Joker and Harvey Dent. I didn't feel like I was watching a Batman movie in there. I felt like I was watching some very twisted shit Criminal Minds episode that happens to have Batman as the main character.

Best of all what, I like most of this movie was that from the success of the first Batman, they could have done what Disney keeps doing and make a junk sequel because they know people will still watch it. The people behind this film really took the time, respected the expectations of the fans, respected the franchise and went out and made art. The Dark Knight was art. No question. Saying that this was the best 2008 summer blockbuster is really an understatement at this point. It's Best Picture of the year. My new favorite movie of all time.

RATING: 10/10

Journey To The Centre of The Earth: Review

You know.. when you have a movie that can't even get the spelling of CENTRE right in the title, you know this is going to be a shitty film.

Okay so this movies is based on the 1960 film and it's about Brendan Fraser who's this scientist guy who has had a brother disappear while on  expedition. And while going through some of his brother's old things, he comes across the book Journey To The Centre of The Earth and finds that his brother has left clues in there on how to find the place. And that is where the story development of the movie ends.

From that point on, all we get from this movie is just one big amusement park ride. We have these people riding down a mine shaft,they see some giant mushrooms and shiny birds, they start battling giant piranhas, they fight giant killer plants, they get chased by T-Rex and then the movie becomes a video game where the kid from Bridge To Terabithia starts jumping over these floating magnetic rocks like it was Super Mario.

Now you're reading this and you're thinking, "Hey asshole, you just spoiled the whole movie for me." No I didn't. There's is absolutely nothing to spoil story wise for this turd of a film. For nearly two hours all I see is Brendan Fraser, a kid and a hot chick jumping over lava and fighting weird creatures. There's no story, there's no plot, there's no character development.

Man screw Brendan Fraser! I still don't get how this big lard bucket is able to get so many roles. And he keeps getting cast in the most ridiculous roles. Now, giveth I loved him in The Mummy and he was good in Crash but in here, they're expecting us yo believe this mumbling fool is a scientist. C'mon! Ain't nobody's ever going to think Brendan Fraser is even mentally capable enough to pass SPM. And God that guy just mumbles his lines throughout the whole goddamn show!

But there is this girl in the movie who's acting as some sort of tour guide for Brendan Fraser. Anita Briem, that's her name. She's one fine looking European lady and she almost look like a young version of Judi Dench. Really got nothing much else to say here, just let me look at her pics for awhile.

Daaaamn! I heard she's going to play Jane Seymour in The Tudors. Gheah! Some girl on girl fighting with the Boleyn's, I like it!

But as stupid as this movie is, in was in goddamn 3D and it was pretty impressive. All 3 actors were pretty much juts added props to the special effects in this film and from the get go of the first trailer, they just kept reminding us that this movie is all about the 3D and special effects. And in that area, I thought they rocked it. And because the movie moves so fast with lots of action, I found myself enjoying it somewhat of a bit.

Journey To The Centre of The Earth is one of those stupid blockbusters for kids. And if you do see it, see it in 3D.

RATING: 5/10

Hancock: Review

Hey this movie's pretty funny. We  got Will Smith being awesome, the guy from Juno and the ass of Charlize Theron. Yeah I like this film a lot.. hey wait.. Wait what? What are you doing? No stop this! This isn't funny anymore! What are you-- NOOOOO!!

Hancock is about a man named Hancock who has superpower but he's pretty much a bum and causes more trouble than he actually solves. In comes Jason Bateman, a PR guy who wants to turn Hancock's image around and make him someone that is useful to society and ultimately a better person. The film had a good idea and I really liked it in the beginning but then Hancock just turned into a piece of shit!

This movie did something similar to what I hated about No Country For Old Men. It starts out with a nice story, it's builds up the characters and I start to get attached with how this movie is going to go.. and then it just ends the first half of the movie and picks up with a completely different story. Watching Hancock was like watching 2 different movies in one. First we have the comedy superhero movie and then the whole thing turns into one big romance film.

It was as if the writers couldn't think of anything else to further the plot of Hancock trying to be a superhero and gain the trust of the people. All of a sudden, the movie switches gears, changes the mood and even the goddamn genre to crowbar in a love story between Hancock and Charlize Theron. And that wouldn't have bothered me so much if I hadn't liked the first half of the movie where it was just one heck of a funny superhero film.

Will Smith and Charlize Theron were uninteresting to me. I did like Will Smith in the first half of the film where he's just this hag of a slacker that really doesn't give a shit about anything. But then he changes into some ole Casanova at the end of the film and I'm like WTF?

But the best one here was Jason Bateman who is playing the same kind of character he does in Arrested Development only this time he's dealing with a drunken superhero instead of a family of crazies.And besides Will Smith in the first half, Jason Bateman is the second funniest person in the movie.

 

The other problem this movie has is that it didn't really have a good villain for Hancock to play off. Sure we had Eddie Marsan who was pretty funny in this, but the second part of Hancock focused so much on the sitty relationship between Will Smith and Charlize Theron we don't get to see any development with his character which ultimately makes the climax of the movie less interesting.

They should have stuck with the original part of the story and saw the whole thing through instead of making such a cop out at the end which left me really angry at the end.

RATING: 5/10

Disney Returning to 2-D Animation!

Ever wondered why Disney animation became so shit after the 90's? Yea you know what I mean..what the hell happened to Beauty and The Beast, Aladdin, The Lion King and all that right?

Apparently the artists that did all the hand-drawn animation films last time were fired in 2001 when Disney decided to abandon hand-drawn animation for CGI animation in 2001.

But now..Disney finally came to their senses that High School Musical and Hannah Montana aren't pulling in anymore bucks so they are going back to hand-drawn animation by 2009. And they will start with a Rapunzel movie and The Princess And The Frog. Some images are already up. Check it out

What I know now is that Rapunzel is going to be a paint-on-glass style of animation and the ever so awesome Kristin Chenoweth is going to be the voice of Rapunzel.

I thought I'd never see the day Disney will have black princess. They probably know that Obama's going to win, that's why. I heard Alicia Keys is going to be doing the voice for this princes. That would be amazingly awesome!

And Alan Menkenis returning after a decade of absence to do the music for the two films. He's the man who did all the great songs during the Disney Renaissance .You know, Colors of the Wind, Circle of Life, Can You Feel The Love Tonight, Beauty and the Beast. Hope they don't screw it up.