Street Fighter The Legend of Chun Li: Review

After seeing this movie, I am now a coffee mug filled with the Sanka of Hate! Full to the brim, baby! Shit! And I had such high hopes for this movie! Why? Why do they do this to me? WHY??!!

Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li is the most disappointing movies since the Star Wars prequels. It's about Chun Li becoming who she is by learning kung fu from some guy and trying to seek revenge on the man who killed her family.

The big mistake this piece of shit makes is that it's not a superhero film. Instead, it tries to grown the movie more in reality and turn this into a kung fu movie. Which wouldn't bother me so much if the kung fu hadn't sucked so bad. Hello? The title of you're movie is Street Fighter. People are coming to see Chun-Li in her glorious long sexy legs kick tanks till they explode. What's the deal with the producers trying to make this a Hong Kong crime film with lousy kung fu?

The fight scenes in this movie is so bad that I nearly wanted to cry. If Chun Li was  a real woman, she'd be rolling in her grave right now. The kung fu sequences here are so poorly choreographed and I get the feeling that Kristin Kreuk barely rehearsed any of the moves cause she looked like a cute little girl kicking like David Beckham. 

And how on Earth could they take a hot ass like Kristin Kreuk and make her so uninteresting in this movie? For the most part, we only have Kristin Kreuk look like she was just hit by a sand truck or have been sleeping in a cave for 10 days. Cause that bitch looked like some homeless girl.

And what you'd expect when you ask Kristin Kreuk to act? You don't get shit. I already said from the beginning, if you're gonna cast Kristin Kreuk, make sure you show more of her legs than her trying to act like she's sad. It's like asking Megan Fox to be in Transformers deliver a serious line than just show us her boobs.

And while we're on the subject of bad acting. How bad was Chris Klein's acting in this? He kind of reminded me of the guy from Garbage Day cause all he does is speak in the same intense tone with the same intense face and he thinks that is acting. I mean, this guy's acting was so bad that it was good. I laughed my ass off through the whole film every time he comes on screen cause this guy is just downright ridiculous. What we need now is a movie where all we have is Chris Klein reciting Shakespeare monologues. Now that would be a funny movie.

Oh and it really helps build tension in the movie when the main villain is the guy from Desperate Housewives. This is such a lazy choice casting him as Bison. What the fuck? He comes off more like a businessmen man than a leader of Shadaloo. I'm barely even afraid of him, matter of fact.. I don't even feel him as an antagonist cause he is just such a weak character in the film.

You know what? All this talking about this turd is really getting my blood pressure high thinking about how much time I wasted being excited that this shit was coming out. The only thing I can do now I self medicate and look at these...

 

  

  

  

  

 I feel no pain no more.

RATING: 2/10

81st Academy Award Winners

I didn't watch the oscars. I'm on strike cause The Dark Knight wasn't nominated.

I did watch the videos on YouTube though. It looked nice. The performances were super cool. Hugh Jackman did an awesome job as host. Overall Slumdog was the big winner with 8 Oscars, Benjamin Button cries with only 3 but I was so upset when The Dark Knight only won 2. Two!Nice to see Heath Ledger get his Oscar though. Anyways here's the list of winners last night.

BEST PICTURE

Slumdog Millionaire

BEST ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE
Sean Penn in Milk

BEST ACTRESS INA LEADING ROLE

Kate Winslet in The Reader

BEST DIRECTOR

Danny Boyle for Slumdog Millionaire

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Penelope Cruz in Vicky Cristina Barcelona

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

Dustin Lance Black for Milk
 
BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY 
Simon Beaufoy for Slumdog Millionaire

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE

Andrew Stanton for WALL-E

BEST ANIMATED SHORT FILM

Kunio Kato for La Maison en Petits Cubes

BEST ART DIRECTION 
Donald Graham Burt for art direction and Victor J. Zolfo for set decoration on The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

BEST COSTUME DESIGN  

Michael O’Connor for The Duchess

BEST MAKEUP

Greg Cannom for 'The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY

Anthony Dod Mantle for Slumdog Millionaire

BEST LIVE ACTION SHORT

Jochen Alexander Freydank for Spielzeugland (Toyland)

BEST FOREIGN FILM

Departures

BEST DOCUMENTARY

James Marsh and Simon Chinn for Man on Wire

BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT

Megan Mylan for Smile Pinki

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS

Eric Barba, Steve Preeg, Burt Dalton and Craig Barron for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

BEST SOUND EDITING

Richard King for The Dark Knight

BEST SOUND MIXING

Ian Tapp, Richard Pryke and Resul Pookutty for Slumdog Millionaire

BEST FILM EDITING

Chris Dickens for Slumdog Millionaire

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE

A.R. Rahman for Slumdog Millionaire

BEST ORIGINAL SONG 

'Jai Ho' from Slumdog Millionaire, music by A.R. Rahman, lyrics by Gulzar  

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

Unless you've been like duh for the last few months, their making an adaptation of the G.I Joe franchise. It's gonna star some really big names like Brendan Fraser, Denis Quaid, Joseph Gordon-Levitt from Stop Loss, Channing Tatum from Step Up, Rachel Nichols, the hot babe from P2 and Sienna Miller.

Found some cool pics up on imdb so check it out.

Sienna Miller as The Baronnes. Heard she had to wear paddings to make her boobs look bigger. Sweet!

Will Channing Tatum dance in this one?

Whoooo Rachel Nichols. Helloooo

No idea who this is. I think hes one of the dudes from White Chicks.

Snake Eyes! Played by the guy who did Darth Maul in Star Wars Ep 1. He looks freaking badass man.

The movies coming out in August and the trailer should be out in a week or so. But I found a short clip of the movie:

Looks nice. Though when they said "From the Director of the Mummy..." My hopes went out the window.

The Wrestler: Review

C'mon dudes admit it.. we all were crazy about WWF back in the 90's. Man when I was like 12... I got Stunnered, Rock Bottomed, Chokeslamed, Low Blowed and Pedigreed cause I was so damn irritating back then.

So The Wrestler... the movie that's gonna make WWE fans so depressed cause it basically shows the sad truth they don't wanna acknowledge and that is that wrestling is FAKE and that wrestlers are human to. It's directed by Darren Aronofsky who previosuly did Requiem for a Dream and The Fountain which are two amazingly weird but cool films.

This film's about Randy 'The Ram' Robinson, an ageing wrestler who's pretty much a loser. Imagine being like the coolest person on Earth for a few years and was chomped up and spit out like you were nothing. He gets reduced to an old man that is in so much physical pain who has nothing. And the saddest part is he still doesn't get it that people don't care about his wrestling anymore. I mean, he's working like crazy at a meat factory just so he can finance his weekend wrestling at this shithole arena that no one goes to. Plus, he's in love with a 40 year old stripper.

The Wrestler pretty much talks about the problems real life wrestlers go throuh. They put their bodies through a lot of abuse becaue 'it was what they love doing' and when their old, their left with nothing but permanent physical scars. And who could have played the lead role better than Mickey Rourke. This guy was FANTASTIC in this movie!

Honestly, I've never heard of Mickey Rourke until a few months ago when The Wrestler came out, but he was apparently the Zac Efron of the 70's or something like that. But then he did a Britney Spears thing and derailed his career.

The acting in this movie was what made me really like it. Mickey Rourke gave an outstanding performance. He made you love and root for his character even though you know things are gonna end badly for him, which makes it more heartbreaking when it does. Evan Rachel Wood who plays his daughter was great to. She has an awesome scene at the end of the movie. And Marissa Tomei is just HOT man. I think she was naked for at least 80% of the whole movie.

The Wrestler is a clearly character and story driven film cause most of the technical aspects of the film was terrible. The movie does need a bit of patience on the audience's part mainly cause the camera work is really shaky. The Wrestler looked like it was shot entirely with a handycam and it does get a bit annoying sometimes. Also the background noises that wasn't edited out was a little distracting but I think the director purposely left that in to make the movie look more realistic. And I'm willing to bet that most of the characters in the movie were just ordinary people the director pulled in from around the set to act.

Watch this movie. You'll love it.

RATING: 8/10